Perfect Weakness

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."
 2 Corinthians 12:9

I don't know about you, but I have read this verse hundreds of times in my life. I always thought that I understood its meaning, but I just recently discovered what it is to be truly weak. 

My life up until this point has been pretty great. I was raised in a wonderful family who taught me to know and love Christ. I have had amazing friends that support me and love me unconditionally. I met the love of my life in high school and get to enjoy everyday life with him. Justin and I have a beautiful little girl who lights up our lives. Last week we found out we are adding a baby boy to our family in December. I have been blessed.

Love my family!

I have the tendency to think that I can control my life. I usually try to accomplish things with my own strength - and honestly can be fairly successful most days. I have realized though, that Christ wants us to rely on Him. Sometimes I almost have to be forced into complete reliance on God. When I am faced with a situation that is out of my control, I finally realize that Christ is the only way out, and I am forced into leaning on Him. Once I release my grasp and give the situation to Him, I immediately recognize that this is what God wants from us in every situation. A sense of relief flows over me as I let the worry fall off of my own shoulders and let God's power take over. 

Recently, our family has been faced with several situations that require total dependence on God. My sister Emily and her husband Justin were told that their child that is expected to arrive in November has several severe complications and is not expected to make it. Woah. A situation that definitely makes us feel weak. A situation that is completely out of our human control. So we lean on God. And ask for a miracle. And we trust that He is in control.

Emily and Justin at their wedding last summer!

Last week Justin and I  had an ultrasound and found out that our little munchkin is a boy! We are so excited to add a boy to our family and to see Mckinley interact with her little brother! After the ultrasound, our doctor came in to talk to us about our baby. She told us that they noticed a 'spot' on one of the baby's heart ventricles that is some cause for concern. She was very honest with the fact that she doesn't actually know what it is or what it could be. Usually, with this type of 'spot' on the heart, there are more indicators of abnormalities on the baby. She did not see anything else that would typically be apparent and indicate more severe complications - praise God!

Our handsome little man! Justin thinks he has his mouth :)

In order to hopefully find out what we are dealing with, our doctor is sending us to a high-risk doctor in Akron to do a more in-depth ultrasound. Our appointment is this Wednesday morning. At this point we are praying for a miracle. We believe that we could go to the appointment and the doctor wouldn't be able to even see the spot. We also know that it may still be there and are praying for wisdom from the doctors and clarity for the situation.

Amidst the excitement as we anticipate our newest family member, I must admit that I felt like I was punched in the gut when we found out that this probably isn't going to be a routine pregnancy. I am thankful that my first instinct is to cry out to God - but to actually follow through and not worry and give it completely to Him has proved to be extremely difficult. I feel weak. I feel powerless. But I do know that I would rather have God's strength instead of my own. Please join us as we pray for our family - both for my niece or nephew and our little boy.

Weakness is most often viewed as a handicap. Something that we try our hardest to avoid. But it happens - and most of the time without any warning. The feeling of weakness catches us completely off guard and knocks us to our knees. I am so thankful to know the one Person who is stronger than anything that can be thrown at us. The one Person who can handle it.

So I have learned that sometimes weakness is the perfect place to be. When I am weak, my Father has the opportunity to wrap his arms around me and take care of me better than I ever could on my own.