48 Hours, A Tiny Baby, and a BIG God

It's amazing what can happen in just 48 hours, isn't it?

First of all, thank you, thank you, thank you for surrounding our family with prayers and encouragement for the past few days. The notes of support, genuine concern, and heartfelt prayers were definitely felt and appreciated.

So here's the story of the past 48 hours.

Two days ago at our checkup for baby girl, my doctor was concerned with my lack of weight gain as well as the size of my baby bump. Through the first three months of this pregnancy, I lost close to thirty pounds from extreme morning (ha) sickness. I have gained about fifteen of those pounds back, but have been at a steady weight for the past couple months. Because of this stall in weight gain, my doctor ordered a growth ultrasound to check the size of the baby as well as a check of  my of amniotic fluid. The growth ultrasound showed that baby girl was measuring very small for her gestational age. Overall, she was measuring in the 10th percentile, which was a much lower percentile than her last ultrasound a few months ago. A specific concern was the size of her stomach, measuring only in the 2nd percentile -- which is obviously very small and not consistent with the rest of her body size. Her estimated weight currently was under five pounds. My amniotic fluid was measuring very low - still technically in the 'normal' range, but as low as it can get to be considered normal. 

After the growth ultrasound on Tuesday, my doctor referred me to a high risk doctor at Akron Children's Hospital. She wanted another ultrasound done, with a few other tests to determine if the baby was getting adequate blood flow and whether or not baby girl should be born now to monitor her outside of the womb. 

Being told that there could be complications in the final few weeks of pregnancy was overwhelming and scary. Not knowing what was going on with our baby girl made us feel out of control and wanting answers. I love feeling her move and kick, but I would feel so much more comfortable if she was here an in our arms and I KNEW she was ok. 

Waiting 48 hours for our appointment seemed like a lifetime. I cried and prayed and worried and cried some more. I didn't sleep. I pictured every possible outcome. I cried some more. I received texts and emails and messages and phone calls from people who love our family so well. I came home to gorgeous flowers on our porch and cried some more.

The song 'Jesus Loves Me' played over and over in my head. This simple song that spoke so close to my heart.

Jesus Love Me, this I know. 

For the Bible tells me so. 

Little ones to him belong. 

They are weak, but he is strong. 

Yes, Jesus loves me! 

Yes, Jesus loves me! 

Yes, Jesus loves me!

The Bible tells me so. 

The amount of love that I have for my babies isn't measurable. Any mom knows this love. Loving your children is the strongest emotion that I think a person can experience. Love so big that I can't even put it into words. It almost hurts how much I love my kids. Not being in control of what happens to them almost takes my breath away. But then I think about the fact that even though the love I have for my babies is HUGE, the love that Jesus has for them is even bigger. Unfathomable. So I reminded myself of this fact over and over and over the past two days. And tried to trust and let go of the control that I didn't even have in the first place. 

So this morning we headed to Akron for our appointment. I was nervous, but I was more anxious about finding out some answers. Our ultrasound was first, and seeing our sweet baby was so reassuring. Our ultrasound technician was wonderful, and was great at letting us know what she was seeing as she performed the ultrasound. She started by reviewing our files from our previous ultrasound noting that the baby was measuring so small, and mentioning the concern about her stomach size and my amniotic fluid. When she started taking her measurements, she kept shaking her head in confusion. 

PEOPLE. Our baby WAS tiny, but our God is BIG. 

Baby girl is still definitely on the small side, but she GREW. In 48 hours. And not just a little bit, she is considered small, but her size is now of NO CONCERN. Her overall size is measuring in the 23rd percentile. Our ultrasound technician measured her stomach probably 25 times, and kept saying, "I don't get it - her stomach is measuring completely normal?!" We are talking 2nd percentile on Tuesday, to 19th percentile on Thursday.

I know that God is beefing this girl up. I know that God made her grow that significantly in 48 hours. I know that God answered our prayers. 

And yet I was surprised. Shocked. Why am I always surprised when God does exactly what I ask for? When he actually goes above and beyond what our prayers are pleading for?

So for now, baby girl is growing inside, and we are waiting for her to make her debut. My fluid level is still very low, so they will continue to monitor the amount of fluid which may mean I will need to be induced sooner than later. Baby girl is in position to start labor, and I am actually having pretty decent contractions on and off today, nothing overly consistent, but enough to know that she may be here before we know it.

Thank you for praying and believing with us. God is so good, isn't he? I know that it is easy to say that God is good when prayers are answered the way that we want them to be. The fact is that He would still be good if we had to update you with 'bad' news. But today we are rejoicing in thankfulness that our baby is growing and strong. 

...they are weak, but HE IS STRONG.